When a No says it all (continued)

........in these 27 years of my life, the most artful thing and the most difficult thing that I have experienced is to how to say No in a way to solve my problem comfortably wihout creating nuisance of hurting feelings, ego, etc. Saying no involves a lot of manners, attitude, proper toning, timing and so much that at times I wondered why isnt there any guide on how to say No. I have had a small stint with software firm, where they are very particular about communication skills, how to say what and when and to whom, but they never touched the issue of how to say an effective No. I wonder whether anyone had ever thought so much about saying No but I have many times seen people around me troubled about how to say no to any uncomfortable situation they are stuck in. I have seen people panicking about the consequences of saying no and then feeling relaxed once they have done the excercise of saying no successfully and even regretting their decision of saying no if they have failed in the exercise.At times I even feel that there could be psychological studies on the human nature based on their comfort level in saying no to different situations. In my view a person who is comfortable saying no, is decisive and clear about himself. But if pretty detailed study is done a person always saying No  can also be negative responsing, introvert, strongly insecure about future, and reluctant to changes and challenges. It all depends to what a person say no, how often a person say no, how easily a person say no. I can say this because I have in my knowledge both type of people. One of them is my own mother, a very decisive woman, she never had worries saying no to things she didnt like but she isnt negative, and another one is a neighbour and colleague, who always has a no in answer to any plan, any new thing to be tried, any excursion trip ever planned, any gathering ever thought about, any activity ever thought since I know her. It may sound funny but if I'll ever have a time I would love to conduct a study on how people say no,what all they go through while saying no, how often they say no, and then analyse their behavior and would relate them to derive a conclusion. I strongly believe there must be some link in a person's nature and his ability to say no to different situations. After all a no says it all. It makes a decision, it implies negative attitude, it is firm, it ends the for and against debate going on in mind and it has a lastin effect on person addressed. A yes is seldom remembered remembered but a NO is engraved on heart and reaches deep inside through ear. A person may always be happy about his job, but he never forgets the job where he was rejected even if what he is doing is better than the one where he was told a no, he may be having the best woman in his life but he would never forget the proposal that was simply told a big no. No wonder a No says it all.