when a no says it all - continued

....Saying no to one thing can change the whole course of life, like saying no to a particular kind of job or saying no to a proposal, particularly the latter, cause you have said no to all the changes this prposer could bring to your life....could be good or could be bad......but it would have a been a complete course of life that was nipped in bud by a little NO......laconic eh!....just imagine two letters halting a particlular course of life......Thats why I say a NO says it all....
These two letters  not only speak about the future course of life but they say it all about the one who says them... I wonder whether the psychologists have ever thought of using this power of sayin  no to analyse a person's behavioural, interpersonal skill, his attitude, his thought proceess etc. In my view there should be a science based on saying NO. And i can rightly justify the need of this science. Infact we can broadly classify people on following basis:
1)How frequently people say NO
2)How much time people take to say NO
3)The ease of saying NO

Like for eg. based on how frequently people say NO, there are people who have a deeply rooted negative, apprehensive nature, they always see what could go wrong and they would always start with a 'NO this cant be done because or NO we cannot go today because......' and the others who rarely say NO to a thing and are open for more, then, there are those who take little time in saying NO, pretty decisive, and the others who keep on pondering the iffs ad buts of saying NO, the confused lots, basically the ones who are neither ready to plunge in, nor ready to forgo it.......and these are the most irritating ones, these kind generally wait for others to take their decision and most of the time end up in a NO only. The ease with which one say No says a big deal too, for eg. there are people who are submissive and would never say NO, they would always agree to what others say. Identlfy sea as greenish blue they would say yes and identify it as bluish green and they would say yes.......these kind do not have a opinion of their own, they fear taking decisions, so they are the ones who only obey.......true or false type questions are there nightmare...Infact there are infinite possibilities that a No can say about the one who utters it........
I wonder whether the HR mangers would ever think of using the power of  NO, of teaching the people improve their attitude, behavioural skills, interpersonal skills, etc........May be someday I will write a book on the power of NO....because i have heard it many times when a NO says it all.......










Like for eg, there are persons who are completely incapable of saying no

An industry based on inferiority complex

Yesterday a friend gave a very brilliant idea.....he told me about a new fairness cream in market by a very famous brand that has gold in it!.....and the idea.....boil the cream a little and strain it and u will have gold in your strainer. WOW!! I exclaimed and stared and then we both had a hearty laugh. But that stuck in my mind......what is left that we do not have in our creams....almonds, aloevera, rose, jawakusum(dunno wat it is), basil, all types of flowers, fruits, oils, honey, and now silver and gold!!GOD!.....I just spent a whooping 50000 bucks only to buy two gold chains......and they are giving it in face creams. And imagine the all kinds of labs they show to prove how the creams work. Its funny i wish always i had such a chmeistry lab.........but after all .....does the skin absorb any such thing that can improve fairness, or could remove the scars......i mean the whitening creams, aging creams, creams specially to remove line near eyes......do they really get inside the skin.....Dunno I never believed anything. And if so why arent there energy pastes that we can apply on our hands and then we dont need to eat anything.....
The more creative the ingredients of these spicy creams more creative are the advertisements that show us the magial powers of these creams. What all wonders a cream can do......imagine a girl becoming cricket commentator because of some cream.....who does sees a commentator in a cricket match that she caught eyes there.......
And ample of them are based on how a  otherwise unnoticeable girl turns into the beauty queen .....more popular reigning model......When i was a lil kid i used to think what if all girls start using it then all will be beautiful........then what!! And i thought everyone thought like this and noone got fooled by these things. But my friends !! I saw them using them....and in due course i found then I was the odd one.........All my friends envied those beautifull girls modelling for these creams....and even though my friends spent and spent tyring all these magical potions.......i never thought them anymore beautiful then they already were, or when they wore light make up.......and the worst part was to agree with them that they were improving. Something like someone wants to become someone else. Inherently its all that inferiority complex, we all suffer somewhere down inside, beneath that layer of confidence on our face. And these creams can only reach that inside layer of inferiority and covers it.
I used to wonder that is that only women have this inferiority....but now a fair and handsome uncovered that long hidden and subdued complex in men. So all bared by the creams that cover the scars of that dissatisfaction in one's own skin. So this business has got more scope and growth and so the imaginative ad makers have got more wings of imagination to woo men into it.

Wasnt the love enough to hold him forever-I

She asked him....."Why me?"....Why on earth you picked me of all the girls in the batch.....? I was so ordinary...living in my own world of seclusion and my dreams....Took care to show that you were worried"......Didnt I tell you, we cannot be together, but you still insisted, you said all will be fine, that at your home its liberal, didnt you said that it is we who matters to us....not the world....Why did you lied. You begged me for love, you fell after me like I was a princess. You made me feel that you would love me forever and foralways......and everytime you asked..."when will you take me seriously"......you smsed me every min....you called me when i was not in front of you.....you showed me you madly  loved me.....I told you I saw a pain in your eyes whenever you looked in mine and you said its that of loosing you. And gradually I started believing you and then started feeling the way you did......you showed me the sunsets....the hill tops, we stood by the brooks, i thot it is real.....finally i have got someone who could love me against my ordinaryness....and that it really exists....and that like other girl's dreams mine wud come true....
U dragged me in from my peaceful world...created ripples in my silent pond.....why when you knew.... always knew you wont ever marry me.....you knew it from the day we met.....then what did I do to spur you.....did i ever hurt your male ego that you took a revenge, or you took revenge of your exgirfriend on me.....or your jealousy couldnt bear that some man should have a wife that had only him in his life and so you tainted my innerself forever and foralways..........I ...I mean why? why? why?....please i beg why?......Hundred times a day you said 'I love your black eyes'...was that a joke!! Cause you have given more tears in these eyes than total i shed before meeting you.....So precious was my love.....I had preserved it for only one man! only one!...the one with whom i would spend my life.....but you stole it and made a joke of it......only this i had for the man that i would marry cause i was never beautiful, never attractive nor elegant...but rough, rural and coarse....but i had my sincerity.....purity....of feelings....that was the only beauty i had that you destroyed and now i feel like dead....why me?...Please tell me...why?...What makes you happy about all this.....are you proud that you could win any girl's heart and play and leave it to add a count in your list of girls fallen for you.....are there any medals in your men's world...,is this the talk in the men's world and now you would boast among your group how you convinced and you all would laugh at my foolishself!!!...i feel horrible....Is this what is called men's chivalry and manliness......i always thought otherwise......even though a woman, i always thought that women are the ones who step back from their promises and men suffer.....but its all false.....men are crook....all like you........i would have fought my parents for you, and now this makes me more miserable that i was ready to leave my parents for you!! You!!
........................................"
and so on and on she went on for days....with swollen eyes......everyone asked her why was she said but she kept mum....and never told anyone except the one who never asked her, theone who made her sad......but he was done with her.....her tears mattered nothing to him now.....he was free of her...enjoying his old ways...it took her months hiding her swollen eyes from everyone......she did all she could to get him back.....she tried it by not disturbing him......he didnt respond....then by pleading him....he didnt respond.....by begging him.....he didnt respond.....she was out of his mind for always now.....and it was over....this is no happy ending movie but real life.....this is love...not the one they show in hunky dorie movies.......and she learnt there is no love like she used to think......there is only fun and he had fun.....thats it....for months she wept.....and still does when noone sees.....she went back to her pillow who was her childhood friend.....a friend in need ....where she could weep openly and speak her sorrows ......
For months she was silent but she pretended to be normal so that no one knows her suffering slowly but she kept trying to bring him back.....though with little hope........

Rangoli and He - Man back to back

"Sonaaaaaaa !!! utho!!! " A peek at the adjacent bed....huh vishal is still sleeping....so wud I...this was Mummy's call that was so ignored.....two or three such long distance calls and then a gentle reminder from daddy...."Sona utho saat baj gaye!".......
and suddenly my bed would throw me out of itself as if it was fed up of me. And before the eyes could realise that it was time to open up, The Dynora Black and White televison set was switched on and one could see Vaijyanthi Mala dancing to a song of Madhumati. A sigh of relief....." jus started still in the oldies didnt miss much"........suddenly a disturbance " brush to kar looooo!!!!" ......I was waiting for a song that was telecast last Sunday too so that I could afford to miss it and go and brush my teeth...and there it was "Isharon isharon mein dil lene waale....baata ye hunar tumne seekha kahan se........." and i ran away to brush my teeth...."so this time they wont telecast "ye chand sa roshan chehra zulfon ka rang sunehra!! ye zeel si neeli aankhe koi raaz hai inme gehra.....tareef karu kya uski jisne tumhe banaya"...." damn i could only write one stanza of that last time"....(well both the songs belong to same movie 'Kashmir ki kali' and probability of two songs from same movie was less) ....a few strokes of toothpaste and few gargles and back in front of the big fat singing lady.....My Dynora!......Daddy would swiftly pass on to me a cup of tea and two Parle - G bisuits. I dipped it in my tea and had a bite of tea drenched Parle-G without knowing that it could make me genius even if I am watching Rangoli....(Parle - G ---G maane genius) ........OHOOOOOO!!! BISCUIT CHAI MEIN GIR GAYA!!!!... a run to kitchen to get a spoon to get it out of tea.........In the meanwhile Vishal (my brother) too would wake up "He - Man khatam ho gaya kya......".......and Mummy would say nahi abhi abhi utha hai.....and my single dimensioned brother would suddenly be recharged and would get ready to join me...........In the meanwhile I have  travelled from Madhumati to Disco dancer........and had jot down some stanzas....first half of first line and sec half of sec line.....to complete it later and kept humming whole day till i had completed it in my song copy........And so rangoli was over completing one unfinished song from last episode and giving two more uncomplete to be completed in the next episode ....hopefully.
          A little break.....and "He - Man!!.....Maaaaaaster of the Universe.........AAAAAAAAI have the PAAAAAAwor" and a thrilling episode of fHe - Man begins with Adam changing into He - Man and then pointing his sword toward his timid tiger and turning it into fierce Battle cat......all in the starting song itself and then a thrilling combat with Skeletor....the latter finally defeated. Thus began a typical Sunday in 1989 filling the whole day with sweet tunes of songs from Rangoli and in between the urge to shout.......AAAAAAAI have the PAAAAAAAwor!!!
for the lovers of He - Man:

He-man... And the Master of the Universe!

I am Adam, Prince of Eternia, Defender of the Secrets of Castle Greyskull.

This is Kringer, my fearless friend.

Fabulous, secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: "By the Power of Greyskull!"

He-man, He-man...

I have the power!

Kringer became the mighty BattleCat and I became He-man, the most powerful man in the Universe!

Only three others share this secret...

Our friends the Sorceress, Man-at-Arms, and Orko.

Together we defend Castle Greyskull...

(fades)

My experience with public sector- IT IN PUBLIC SECTOR-1

Yes I agree that L1 is pending but something happened and it provoked me to deal with PSU - IT first. Hey this IT is same the hyped software IT not the boring income tax IT.

"Oh cmon we too have intranet facilities, we can send mails, we can receive mails, that means we have Ids........so we also need an IT dept. Obviously we have an IT dept. to make email Ids, send salary emails to each employee, and to fill IT returns online(Now this was income tax), to make a database of all this information about an employee, to make links for different depts on the intranet(as if a new dept mushrooms up every week), you would be astonished to know, they now have made the filling of tour advance application, claims and even leave application online, (how much of it is updated is different matter), and also to provide IT related hardware, services related to that, it is a mammoth task dear you wont understand.

Oh so it seems a joke to you......it itself is a big task...and then there is a corporate IT that also deals with how to maintain internet communication at sites, I mean power plant. A lot of internet connectivity is required between plants and their substations, their communnication architecture, communication protocol etc. "

And after this it became difficult to explain the work of IT dept. in PSU for me to an IT based friend of mine, further being an ex-IT person now working in PSU it felt like I was fooling myself about, giving all these explanations. Thankfully the friend didnt ask me how does the IT dept. manage the misuse of internet during working hours....how embarassing it would have been to tell that we could only access intranet and irctc.co.in, sbi, airline sites. The hardworking IT dept has banned internet access upto E6 level that is DGM level so that there is no need to monitor the sites being used etc.

At times I wonder how and when they came to this figure of E6, let it be for the ED only, or why even for him or her also, why do they need?? As far as I know people at higher level are more hooked to share trading and such activities not the entry level engineers, but then who has got time to monitor all this. OHK......cricket is an all generation passion, irrespective of caste and creed, age and designation, then why only E0 to E5 are prohibited from it, hmmmm.....may be the E6 ones deserve that after such long years of hardwork and contributions to the organisation......When will I reach E6???? Some 20 years, till then without net!!!!! Cmon its public sector I knew it isnt it?(to be continued)

When a No says it all (continued)

........in these 27 years of my life, the most artful thing and the most difficult thing that I have experienced is to how to say No in a way to solve my problem comfortably wihout creating nuisance of hurting feelings, ego, etc. Saying no involves a lot of manners, attitude, proper toning, timing and so much that at times I wondered why isnt there any guide on how to say No. I have had a small stint with software firm, where they are very particular about communication skills, how to say what and when and to whom, but they never touched the issue of how to say an effective No. I wonder whether anyone had ever thought so much about saying No but I have many times seen people around me troubled about how to say no to any uncomfortable situation they are stuck in. I have seen people panicking about the consequences of saying no and then feeling relaxed once they have done the excercise of saying no successfully and even regretting their decision of saying no if they have failed in the exercise.At times I even feel that there could be psychological studies on the human nature based on their comfort level in saying no to different situations. In my view a person who is comfortable saying no, is decisive and clear about himself. But if pretty detailed study is done a person always saying No  can also be negative responsing, introvert, strongly insecure about future, and reluctant to changes and challenges. It all depends to what a person say no, how often a person say no, how easily a person say no. I can say this because I have in my knowledge both type of people. One of them is my own mother, a very decisive woman, she never had worries saying no to things she didnt like but she isnt negative, and another one is a neighbour and colleague, who always has a no in answer to any plan, any new thing to be tried, any excursion trip ever planned, any gathering ever thought about, any activity ever thought since I know her. It may sound funny but if I'll ever have a time I would love to conduct a study on how people say no,what all they go through while saying no, how often they say no, and then analyse their behavior and would relate them to derive a conclusion. I strongly believe there must be some link in a person's nature and his ability to say no to different situations. After all a no says it all. It makes a decision, it implies negative attitude, it is firm, it ends the for and against debate going on in mind and it has a lastin effect on person addressed. A yes is seldom remembered remembered but a NO is engraved on heart and reaches deep inside through ear. A person may always be happy about his job, but he never forgets the job where he was rejected even if what he is doing is better than the one where he was told a no, he may be having the best woman in his life but he would never forget the proposal that was simply told a big no. No wonder a No says it all.

My experience with Public Sector- L1 PHENOMENA

TO BE POSTED SOON.................

My experience with public sector- TURNOVER MANIA

The organisation I am employed with has many sister units. Each unit has its own work culture in terms of hierchical attitude, facilities, timings, behaviour towards new entrants, level of sincerity, products manufactured, industry served etc. infact a of plethora of differences between them and amongst them but a common thread of love runs through all these units, no not for the organisation as a whole but for the turnover, that again not of the organisation but for the respective unit to which the employee belongs, again this employee is not just any employee but the head of the unit he or she is concerned with. If just any employee is considered he or she is only concerned about the turnover of his or own dept. Anyways let it be, one cannot bother oneself for the whole world, there's lot under your chair to be worried about rather than looking under someone else'. But the thing that greatly amuses me and that I have experienced largely is the intense ownership feeling in each employee for his or her unit so much so that they have forgotten to belong to the whole organisation. In this span of one year I came across people of at least four units, and have heard pride in their words when they disclose about their units and then look down upon me when I do not flaunt the name of my unit with the same pride. Infact this difference among units is an issue big enough to be respected with a complete article on it. At present lets see what turnover means:
Some nice definitions of turnover are given in these links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turnover

http://www.investorwords.com/5094/turnover.html

All I understood is what the company earns in a fixed period of time may be quarterly, halfyearly or anually is termed as turnover. Its the worth of the business done by the firm in a fixed time. No wonder the mania attached to it, the more the better. So far so good, but thats not all, the problem is not the turnover but that strong inherent desire to show that the target of turnover is achieved, by hook or crook, that is a different matter. And mind the words the "the strong inherent desire to show...." details need not be mentioned. Again no issues setting turnover targets and achieving them but the hook or crook thing does matters. There is a statement in Great Expectations by Charles Dickens " If you can never get oncommon by being hooked you can never get to it by being crooked.".

In an organisation such as mine, divided into many units a competition sort of is developed amongst units for achieving highest turnover, that is in turn to achieve as much possible turnover for the organisation as a whole. Here I strongly believe in this 'take care of your own home' policy of the organisation because it was never meant to divivde the organisation into caste and creed just like God never meant human beings to be divided into caste and creed and neither this policy was meant to creat an ugly cat race amongst the units for the turnover targets.Instead it was meant for better management and to develop a healthy competitve environment where each unit develop and imparts its learning to other and thereby the whole organisation develops, a healthy group study kind of thing. But alas sisters rarely do a group study, may be thats why they are called sister units. Finally what all this mayhem has resulted in, is each unit only trying to set up as higher targets as possible and achieve them anyhow or atleast somehow show that they are achieved and prove the other down, if not down atleast not let anyone come ahead.

One aspect of this whole thing is competition with private sector, agreed that there is tough competition but then public sector is by public, born of public's money, we owe certain responsibility that private sector dosent. Even if this moral aspect is ignored, after all it's business, lets ponder are we actually competing private sector in this way, are we competing in quality, deadlines etc. Or just fooling ourselves? Forget all this only ask just any unit head, is the target really achieved and look into his eyes! There is just one madness to show that the much coveted turnover figure is achieved every year, every quarter and now every month, and so the only thing in mind is the turnover of this month, what all manipualtion is to be done to achieve that, what inspections are to be given waiver, what all procedures can be misused to show that the turnover is finally achieved. Its something like a crash diet course to achieve the much coveted figure. But then it should be remembered once the crash diet is over the ugly fat returns and becomes all the more rigid to remove from the body. Similarly it will become difficult to achieve the target year by year if we keep on inclining towards the these short term targets. One should not forget the example of banks that crashed because they were only worried about the month's target and no planning was done for the rainy day.

The most worrisome matter is that this attitude seems to be at its peak when the intake of new executives is at its peak. So what are they being taught? Compromise on engineering, manipulate procedures, waiver the inspections do anything but achieve the turnover. How long will an organisation go with such a taskforce, with this kind of nurturing of the future by the seniors? But the ones sitting on the high seat of responsiblity are only worried about the turnover achievement during their tenure. There are such funny instances of turnover mania amogst seniors, it amuses to hear when a dept head asks to get an inspection call a day or two after the drawings are just approved or when a senior level person asks to clear the two hundred sheet drawings in just one day, the specifications for equipments that will run the whole thermal powerplant are told to be prepared like two minute maggi noodles, indents are told to be issued like daily newspapers. When an engineer goes for inspection he is rarely told to inspect thoroughly and not to clear the material unless it is according to the specification, instead he is given a deadline to clear the material and get the dispatch done anyhow before the month end. The gross neglect of pure engineering and procedures is as dangerous as slow poison. But then since it is slow each dept head, unit head feels the death wont come in my tenure at least. In such big engineering organisations as mine, its not the turnover in one's tenure that will be remembered but the value addition done by each indivdual, the contribution and strategies developed to make the organistion stand the doom's day even after the person is gone. Those who are sitting up there must realise that their days in the organisation may be few and they may only be worried about the turnover, but if the organisation fails a few years after there farewell it is they who could not nurture it during their tenure and if the organisation stands strong long after they are gone it was they who laid its foundation. Its not the turnover that will keep the organisation going but the strong and standardised process and pure engineering with strict adherence to quality measures that will help the organise drive through thick and thin.

My experience with Public sector-1

This post is a tale of my experience with Public sector. I am working in a reputed Public Sector Organisation. Its been a year since I am working in this organisation. I am posted in the manufacturing unit. In just one year I have gone through a myriad of situations, events. But if I consider the span of my service that still is to be 33 years if the age of retirement remains 60 yrs this one year dosent even qualify for a trailor of the lot I'll go through. So I have decided to make a note of all that I learn nd go through the sweet and sour experiences here, this will be a series that I would cherish and read when I will be free.

     But first what is a public sector organisation? Following links give a detail account of what public sector is:

http://tutor2u.net/business/organisation/publicsector_intro.htm

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_sector

A gist of it that I have understood and I am experiencing is that Public sector organistion are firms that basically are funded by public money and therefore are under certain Govt. regulations as to how to use that money, what targets they can set, what all they can buy and sell, what all facilities they can avail etc and yet compete with private sector. So it is like Scotland's army standing against the England army(long time back), the only difference is that they had a zeal to achieve freedom, while here there is a bigger goal, of defeating the giant private sector which has a giant stock of arms and ammunition in termas of facilities and funds to employ and provide better quality. (no freedom tension at present).Yet there's lot to public sector, this definition is  just indicative, and to be frank it would take this whole service term probabaly to understand the Public sector. At some point ot time, if possible, I would post the experience of a retired public sector employee.Till then its purely my experience with public sector.

TRUST

Once upon a time there were three brothers viz.Certain,Sure and Definite.They were the proud descendents of one of the most famous royal families of Trust.
Certain was a doting husband to Certainty and Sure was the soulmate of Surety.Definite being the youngest was still in search of his ladylove. He was the most pampered and loved one.

With mutual understanding and cooperation they were doing well and had a nice reputation among people.A mention of anyone of their names would bring smile to people's face and they would brim with assurance.Such was their repertoire.And thus they were thriving well and bringing honour to their ancestors.

But then time never allows anything else to be consistent except itself and success is always accompanied by rivals and enemies. So while this Trust family was busy in their family business of providing assurance to people and happy in the family bliss...the world around them had changed and clouds of doom have surrounded them.The first one who came into the clutches of devil was the youngest and the most loved one..Definite.He was,for quite sometime,ignoring the ominous presence of his envious arch rival, Indefinite,may be out of pride and overconfidence. So Indefinite knowing this first exploited Definite's weakness for flattery and with other contritions lured him into bad company Definite fell prey to the charms of easy life ,left his home,totally distanced himself from his brothers so much so as to rechristened himself as Most Probable.He lost even this name and was disgraced to Maybe.His conditions so deteriorated that people started calling him God knows...and finally he became a servant to Indefinite.

While Definite was going through all this deterioration even his brothers were not spared. Stressed and burdened by work Certain felt his life had become monotonous and thats when this enchanting woman Uncrtainty came into his life.She was eyeing him since he married Certainty because she was her archrival .So Uncertainty lured Certain into cheap pleasures of disgraced life and under her bewitched charms he threw Certainty out of his house.Disgraced and dejected she went into obscurity and now no one knows her whereabouts.Certain lost all his sheen and respect but it was too late when he realised how meaningless he was without Certainty. Now he is just a shaodw of himself and Uncertainty rules over him.

Now the onus of continuing the family business fell on Sure and he got too busy to even return home for many many days.Surety was dismal without him.She tried hard to keep pace with her husband's life but was completely laid back...even Sure started getting irritated with her wife's bothering for he was too engrossed in work.So dejected and lonely Surety fell into bouts of depression, fever,frenzy etc. But there was no one to take care of her.Some strange kind of disease took over her mental state and she lost her mental balance.Sure was so busy that it was through people that he came to know that Surety isn't the same anymore but it was too late and he had lost her to lunacy . Overwhelmed with grief Sure renounced all work and till date is trying to bring Surety back to health.

So that is how the debacle of Trust family took place and so the world is so full of deceit,uncertainty and distrust.Its tragic but its fact that relationships are devoid of trust and assurance of faithfulness. At present Definite lives as God knows and is a servant of Indefinite,Certain is without Certainty,Sure's Surety is lunatic and he cannot be trusted again.So trust at your own risk.

Road and I

Road and I

When I started,
The road challenged me,
The length of it, rebuked me.

Yet I started,
And the road wasn't pleased.
Its length, my strength, never ceased.

It's time, I started.
Though I haven't reached,
But a comraderie, with Road I'ave achieved.

Anjali Mandokhot

Bhojpur trip

Yesterday i along with five friends of mine had gone to Bhojpur.......It is around 28 Km from BHEL township Bhopal...straight on Hoshngabad road. Its famous for the highest shivlinga.....that is 22 ft high......We had gone on our bikes and the journey to the temple was wonderful..we passed through farms...then there were short hills by our side......the ups and downs of the roads.....the sights of the country side.....and all this in pleasant sunlight....was a mesmerising journey. Through all this fun we reached the famous Bhojpur temple....photography wasnt allowed inside the premises so we took some pics from far away that captures the view of temple...But then its not enough to imagine the grandeur and magnificence of the 22 ft high shivling....it seems the real indicator of the valour and power of lord shiva...one needs to go and see it onself.....and fill it in ones eyes....to live with it forever. We sat for long in the peaceful premises for the temple and then moved to search for the caves of goddess Parvati near and carried on our phots shoots of the natural scenery available in abundance...

On the way we found certain areas enclosed in fence but couldnt figure out why it was so...looked at them for a long time but still nothing came out from diff guesses..well we went on further to reach a small brook..See the bird's view of it

The voice of water flowing was so appealing we ran down to splash and have fun in the lovely river that seemed full of fun and glee flowing at its own will calm and quite somtimes then suddenly with a force as if bursting out with laughter while playing with the rocks in its way....It was lovely and refreshing...rejuvenating all of us.....we found appropriate rocks to sit on and spend around 2 hours playing with the water before taking the boat to cross the river for the cave temple of goddess Parvati

we visited the temple and while returning saw a rare flower there, its called passion flower.....there we spent some time having tea and then finally returned back to the brook......the brook was calling us again but then we had already surpassed the time limit we had planned so with a thought that we will come back again, left for Bhopal.....Yet before leaving we managed to find out that those enclosed region were the places where the map of Bhojpur temple was drawn in the rocks first...we managed to see some lines too.....Before I end up do have a look at the passion flower....

Now that we have returned back it feels still so much is left to be seen....want to move out again....i wish I could live like a wanderer exploring the world and sitting in wherever i find peace.....Journey will continue

You can see only what I'll show

You can see only whatI'll show
Yet people claim they know me inside
What if I've told all lies
And never showed you my dark side
Will you still be there
To see me through thick and thin
Will you still walk with me
When you'll know 'am rotten in
Will you still talk to me
When I wont be able to hear
Will you still listen to me
When my voice wont reach your ear
Even amongst loved ones
I've always feared such apprehensions
You may answer yes to all these
Still they remain unanswered questions

excerpts 4m my own pennings-Inside

I put on such a tough stand-
But that is all shattered inside.
Like that ragged livery
Patched up with embroidery
World only sees my sequins and beads,
None know each of my thread beneath bleeds.


I bring out such a composed-self-
But that is all broken inside.
Like that secretly fissured vase
Holding flowers by some God's grace
World only sees my face and flowers
Touch me once I'll come down to shards


I look so hopeful, full of dreams-
But that is all scattered inside.
Like that termite eaten wood
Still wearing the strong and brown look.
World only sees my twigs and leaves
No one hears that my heart heaves.

My French Pursuits-Mes pursuites francais

Il tout commence avec quelque mots de francais que je avais appris quelque part.........lentement ces mots devenait un desir apprendre plus....et donc je demande de un de mon ami m'aider...mais ce n'est pas tres reussi....pour quelque temps je suis assis sans espoir......puis soudainement une idee m'a frappe.....et cela etait utiliser internet donc j'ai cherche quelque website que enseigne francais(continuerai plus tard)

Leisure---by William H Davies

This again is a poem close to my heart..............it cleaves me into twain and questions what m i doing is that what i wanted...........


What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.


No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.


No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.


No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.


No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.


No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.


A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies

The solitary reaper---By William Wordworth

The Solitary Reaper----i read this poem at school level.............and it has been there in my memeory seated firmly .Dont know why but it gives me some kinda solace.....with the simplicity and the way the it is painted when i read it i feel that i am actually hearing that mysterious song which Wordsworth could not comprehend himself but felt about so deeply.........it happens sometimes....we get to feel related to such unrelated,incomprhensible things at times and understand them in the light of our own thoughts.......our own moods.....thats my perspect about this poem.....


The Solitary Reaper

Behold her, single in the field,
Yon solitary Highland Lass!
Reaping and singing by herself;
Stop here, or gently pass!
Alone she cuts and binds the grain,
And sings a melancholy strain;
O listen! for the Vale profound
Is overflowing with the sound.


No Nightingale did ever chaunt
More welcome notes to weary bands
Of travellers in some shady haunt,
Among Arabian sands:
A voice so thrilling ne'er was heard
In spring-time from the Cuckoo-bird,
Breaking the silence of the seas
Among the farthest Hebrides.


Will no one tell me what she sings?
--Perhaps the plaintive numbers flow
For old, unhappy, far-off things,
And battles long ago:
Or is it some more humble lay,
Familiar matter of to-day?
Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,
That has been, and may be again?


Whate'er the theme, the Maiden sang
As if her song could have no ending;
I saw her singing at her work,
And o'er the sickle bending;
--I listened, motionless and still;
And, as I mounted up the hill,
The music in my heart I bore,
Long after it was heard no more.

William Wordsworth

excerpts 4m my own pennings-invincible depths

Invincible Depths!!

Its not always trekking up,
Even treading down is thrilling.
Its not always the height that appeals,
Depths have their own charms.


Braving that force of earth is daring
But living at the mercy of it... even more courageous,
So if you wonderin at that sky kissing mountain,
This astounding waterfall stupefies me.


You always win up there,
But there isn't any victory downhill.
You achieve, you conquer there,
But only surrender downhill.



Why then you take pride in soaring high,
When the real invincibilities lie in depth.
Why you fooling yourself and shouting Eureka!
When you fear even to look back at depth.

when a no says it all

yes or no have been such an inevitable part of any language but strangely they aren't under any parts of speech!!at least i don't know and havent ever been told about there belonging to any part of speech. Seems they cannot be put into any and are a part of speech on their own.Further this NO amuses me more sometimes because of its laconic attitude.....for a yes opens a whole new world of possibilities, opportunities,chances of success and failures, speculations, plans,fortunes ,misfortunes,apprehensions, fear and so much but a no says it all and ends it all then and there...for construction or destruction...but it says it all.It dosen't leave scope for any further argument and ends all that a yes would have opened up....so laconic!!
But its not only the laconic attitude thats appealing about a NO....but also that psychological element surrounding the word is noteworhty.British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, once said " The art of leadership is saying no,not yes.It is very easy to say yes". Infact saying no is an art in itself.An art that has no comparables. In life we face a myriad of situations where saying no is not only inevitable but also mandatory. Generally no is always accompanied by a degree of sternness that depends upon the situation and the person on whom the no is to be crowned.For eg. when a mother says no to her child's demand for candies- the no is so full of concern or so full of guilt if the demand is unaffordable for her.But when a woman says no to a man's lustful advances or even to a sincere proposal which can't be reciprocated for some reason of her own there isn't any concern or guilt but a sense of self respect and also fear that need not be explained.But in both the situations it is a rope walk and that is where the art lies.In the former case the care is to be taken that the feelings of the child is not hurt while in the latter the feelings are to be destroyed without hurting the ego.Again in both the cases the no should be so artfully accompanied with the apt degree of sternness so that the demand and the proposal is not repeated. What an art!!
But saying no is not always such a grave situation.Just imagine a situation where a renowned glutton is saying no to a plate of sweets offered to him. It is a funny one.If you get a chance do try to notice the urge in every limb of his to snatch that yet he is refusing with utmost will........This no dosent end with just a one no 'cause the host does press it to the guest to have it and now it depends on how determined that no was(will continue further)

excerpts 4m my own pennings-HAVE FAITH!!

Have faith-but not to touch it,
Not to hold it like i hold this pen'
Just have faith!
Even amidst the treason,
Even amidst those doubts,
Even in the face of that mocking question-
"Does he really exists?"
Have faith!!


Have faith- that's the only answer
The end of every discussion over it.
Just have faith!
It was never proved and established.
It will never be proved and established.
It won't ever become a fact,
That's why they say-
Have faith!


Have faith-but not to fight atheism,
It's just another face of faith.
Just have faith!
To believe that the Ideal exists,
To follow the Ideal not to preach it,
To emulate the ideal to the nearest possible.
That is the purpose of all faiths-
So have faith!!