when a no says it all - continued

....Saying no to one thing can change the whole course of life, like saying no to a particular kind of job or saying no to a proposal, particularly the latter, cause you have said no to all the changes this prposer could bring to your life....could be good or could be bad......but it would have a been a complete course of life that was nipped in bud by a little NO......laconic eh!....just imagine two letters halting a particlular course of life......Thats why I say a NO says it all....
These two letters  not only speak about the future course of life but they say it all about the one who says them... I wonder whether the psychologists have ever thought of using this power of sayin  no to analyse a person's behavioural, interpersonal skill, his attitude, his thought proceess etc. In my view there should be a science based on saying NO. And i can rightly justify the need of this science. Infact we can broadly classify people on following basis:
1)How frequently people say NO
2)How much time people take to say NO
3)The ease of saying NO

Like for eg. based on how frequently people say NO, there are people who have a deeply rooted negative, apprehensive nature, they always see what could go wrong and they would always start with a 'NO this cant be done because or NO we cannot go today because......' and the others who rarely say NO to a thing and are open for more, then, there are those who take little time in saying NO, pretty decisive, and the others who keep on pondering the iffs ad buts of saying NO, the confused lots, basically the ones who are neither ready to plunge in, nor ready to forgo it.......and these are the most irritating ones, these kind generally wait for others to take their decision and most of the time end up in a NO only. The ease with which one say No says a big deal too, for eg. there are people who are submissive and would never say NO, they would always agree to what others say. Identlfy sea as greenish blue they would say yes and identify it as bluish green and they would say yes.......these kind do not have a opinion of their own, they fear taking decisions, so they are the ones who only obey.......true or false type questions are there nightmare...Infact there are infinite possibilities that a No can say about the one who utters it........
I wonder whether the HR mangers would ever think of using the power of  NO, of teaching the people improve their attitude, behavioural skills, interpersonal skills, etc........May be someday I will write a book on the power of NO....because i have heard it many times when a NO says it all.......










Like for eg, there are persons who are completely incapable of saying no

An industry based on inferiority complex

Yesterday a friend gave a very brilliant idea.....he told me about a new fairness cream in market by a very famous brand that has gold in it!.....and the idea.....boil the cream a little and strain it and u will have gold in your strainer. WOW!! I exclaimed and stared and then we both had a hearty laugh. But that stuck in my mind......what is left that we do not have in our creams....almonds, aloevera, rose, jawakusum(dunno wat it is), basil, all types of flowers, fruits, oils, honey, and now silver and gold!!GOD!.....I just spent a whooping 50000 bucks only to buy two gold chains......and they are giving it in face creams. And imagine the all kinds of labs they show to prove how the creams work. Its funny i wish always i had such a chmeistry lab.........but after all .....does the skin absorb any such thing that can improve fairness, or could remove the scars......i mean the whitening creams, aging creams, creams specially to remove line near eyes......do they really get inside the skin.....Dunno I never believed anything. And if so why arent there energy pastes that we can apply on our hands and then we dont need to eat anything.....
The more creative the ingredients of these spicy creams more creative are the advertisements that show us the magial powers of these creams. What all wonders a cream can do......imagine a girl becoming cricket commentator because of some cream.....who does sees a commentator in a cricket match that she caught eyes there.......
And ample of them are based on how a  otherwise unnoticeable girl turns into the beauty queen .....more popular reigning model......When i was a lil kid i used to think what if all girls start using it then all will be beautiful........then what!! And i thought everyone thought like this and noone got fooled by these things. But my friends !! I saw them using them....and in due course i found then I was the odd one.........All my friends envied those beautifull girls modelling for these creams....and even though my friends spent and spent tyring all these magical potions.......i never thought them anymore beautiful then they already were, or when they wore light make up.......and the worst part was to agree with them that they were improving. Something like someone wants to become someone else. Inherently its all that inferiority complex, we all suffer somewhere down inside, beneath that layer of confidence on our face. And these creams can only reach that inside layer of inferiority and covers it.
I used to wonder that is that only women have this inferiority....but now a fair and handsome uncovered that long hidden and subdued complex in men. So all bared by the creams that cover the scars of that dissatisfaction in one's own skin. So this business has got more scope and growth and so the imaginative ad makers have got more wings of imagination to woo men into it.

Wasnt the love enough to hold him forever-I

She asked him....."Why me?"....Why on earth you picked me of all the girls in the batch.....? I was so ordinary...living in my own world of seclusion and my dreams....Took care to show that you were worried"......Didnt I tell you, we cannot be together, but you still insisted, you said all will be fine, that at your home its liberal, didnt you said that it is we who matters to us....not the world....Why did you lied. You begged me for love, you fell after me like I was a princess. You made me feel that you would love me forever and foralways......and everytime you asked..."when will you take me seriously"......you smsed me every min....you called me when i was not in front of you.....you showed me you madly  loved me.....I told you I saw a pain in your eyes whenever you looked in mine and you said its that of loosing you. And gradually I started believing you and then started feeling the way you did......you showed me the sunsets....the hill tops, we stood by the brooks, i thot it is real.....finally i have got someone who could love me against my ordinaryness....and that it really exists....and that like other girl's dreams mine wud come true....
U dragged me in from my peaceful world...created ripples in my silent pond.....why when you knew.... always knew you wont ever marry me.....you knew it from the day we met.....then what did I do to spur you.....did i ever hurt your male ego that you took a revenge, or you took revenge of your exgirfriend on me.....or your jealousy couldnt bear that some man should have a wife that had only him in his life and so you tainted my innerself forever and foralways..........I ...I mean why? why? why?....please i beg why?......Hundred times a day you said 'I love your black eyes'...was that a joke!! Cause you have given more tears in these eyes than total i shed before meeting you.....So precious was my love.....I had preserved it for only one man! only one!...the one with whom i would spend my life.....but you stole it and made a joke of it......only this i had for the man that i would marry cause i was never beautiful, never attractive nor elegant...but rough, rural and coarse....but i had my sincerity.....purity....of feelings....that was the only beauty i had that you destroyed and now i feel like dead....why me?...Please tell me...why?...What makes you happy about all this.....are you proud that you could win any girl's heart and play and leave it to add a count in your list of girls fallen for you.....are there any medals in your men's world...,is this the talk in the men's world and now you would boast among your group how you convinced and you all would laugh at my foolishself!!!...i feel horrible....Is this what is called men's chivalry and manliness......i always thought otherwise......even though a woman, i always thought that women are the ones who step back from their promises and men suffer.....but its all false.....men are crook....all like you........i would have fought my parents for you, and now this makes me more miserable that i was ready to leave my parents for you!! You!!
........................................"
and so on and on she went on for days....with swollen eyes......everyone asked her why was she said but she kept mum....and never told anyone except the one who never asked her, theone who made her sad......but he was done with her.....her tears mattered nothing to him now.....he was free of her...enjoying his old ways...it took her months hiding her swollen eyes from everyone......she did all she could to get him back.....she tried it by not disturbing him......he didnt respond....then by pleading him....he didnt respond.....by begging him.....he didnt respond.....she was out of his mind for always now.....and it was over....this is no happy ending movie but real life.....this is love...not the one they show in hunky dorie movies.......and she learnt there is no love like she used to think......there is only fun and he had fun.....thats it....for months she wept.....and still does when noone sees.....she went back to her pillow who was her childhood friend.....a friend in need ....where she could weep openly and speak her sorrows ......
For months she was silent but she pretended to be normal so that no one knows her suffering slowly but she kept trying to bring him back.....though with little hope........